Hi :)
Well I'm a 19 year old virgin and I currently have a boyfriend and he's 21.
I want to have sex, but not anytime soon because we've only been dating a short time and I don't wanna rush into anything. How soon is too soon? Also should I still use a condom if I'm on birth control?

I can’t tell you how soon is too soon or whether or not you’re ready. The average age for first sexual intercourse amongst women in the US is around 17 to 18. Therefore, statistically, it’s not “too soon” for you. But don’t listen to the numbers. Only you can know if you’re ready. For some people, it happens with they’re 16 and some when they’re 30.

I’m always going to recommend using a condom in addition to the pill. A friend of mine got pregnant even though she was on it, and it’s made me hesitant ever since. She wasn’t adhering to perfect usage, so it’s important to realize there is a risk (although small) of pregnancy while taking birth control. Your first time is already filled with enough anxiety and nervousness. If using a condom will put you more at ease during cherry popping and/or you aren’t taking your pill on a regular or consistent basis, then use one. They are cheap and easy to get. They also make prevent spooge spillage on your sheet and make cleanup easier.

female, straight, 15
ok i'm confused about this. if two virgins have unprotected sex can either one get an STD? or can you only get an STD from someone who's carrying one? stupid question i know :)

Typically you can only get an STD if your partner has one. However, there are some STIs even virgins are at risk for like herpes and bacterial vaginosis. Oral herpes can easily be turned into genital herpes. All it takes is for someone with a present cold sore to either touch the sore and then their or their partner’s genitals or perform oral on someone else.

After a first time cherry popping, even fresh non-virgins can be susceptible to other un-fun infections that aren’t STIs. Most common is probably the urinary tract infection.

So I gave my boyfriend head for the first time tonight, and I'm not sure he finished and actually came. I actually had to ask. He said that he did, but cum didn't come out like I am use to from my previous boyfriend. He said that this sometimes happens when he hasn't had any in a while, and I he told me it's been about 4 months since he had head which was from his last girlfriend. Is this normal? Is it possible for guys to have an orgasm like this?

Once again, another answer provided from the male perspective by Mathieu.

Absolutely! Don’t worry about your boy not ejaculating to all his ejaculatory glory, if you will. However he’s likely not telling the truth about the lack of ejaculation. In reality: less sex equals more ejaculation; more sex, or self-stimulation, equals less ejaculation. Likely he’s embarrassed to tell you that he’s been tending to himself. My suggestion? Be forward with him sexually and let him know that it’s completely okay to masturbate, or be open about it with you. Realistically it can be quite uncomfortable for a guy to hold out for an extended amount of time, and if he doesn’t take care of himself (fun) it will come out in his sleep (not so fun). There are rare exceptions where a man will retain his semen for a long time, but it is extremely uncommon. On a side note, however, there is a possibility that your man can consciously separate ejaculation from orgasm. In that case, however, he would definitely be able and very willing to “go” a second time.

My boyfriend has trouble ejaculating during sex with a condom on. When we don't use condoms, he has no trouble what so ever. I feel better if we use condoms when we have sex, but I really want him to be able to ejaculate. He complains the condoms are tight, and leave a ringed mark on the base of his penis. Im not sure if we should switch to bigger condoms or if there is something else we can do. any advice?

Once again, another answer provided from the male perspective by Mathieu.

What a champ .Yes, perhaps invest in better condoms for your girth-blessed, well endowed, gentlemen lover. However, condoms do cause loss of sensitivity to the penis and for some men; may impede a proper orgasm. My recommendation is to get larger condoms for safety sake, but if you choose not to seek other forms of contraceptive such as spermicidal lubricants, cervical dams, and of course the mother-of-all-profoundly-against-nature-but-thank-god-we-have-it: birth control pill. Be careful regardless of your decision and have fun.

Hello, Anonymous. I just wanted to add my two cents. As a woman, I know that Trojan’s Magnums (the standard larger condom) do not provide the greatest feeling for either person involved in the sex play. I suggest getting ones made of thinner latex like Durex Love and Kimono Microthin large condoms.

my boyfriend and i are both virgins. we 'tried' having sex. he was hard, and when he got about halfway in me. his penis became flaccid, we tried 2 times, same thing happened both times, am i doing something wrong? he said he "can't control what his penis does" but, i didn't realize it was hard to keep it hard. and another thing, i was talking to some of my friends, and i said "yeah we've been to 3rd" and they said "did he cum on you?" i said "is he supposed to?" well he doesn't cum, is that a problem? i've asked him, and he says he just has control of cumming, so he won't do it? i guess i'm just wondering, am i doing something wrong?

Once again, another answer provided from the male perspective by Mathieu.

Thank you for sharing this because I feel this is something that needs to be addressed, but typically isn’t talked about openly. Let’s get one thing straight: a man’s erection, or lack thereof, has no reflection on the woman he is sleeping with. For as visceral and liberating as sex can be, there is a natural ebb and flow of erectile performance for men. Sometimes we’re an erection can last the whole session, other times: it’ll take a breather. Here’s the kicker; as you are both virgins, and both new to this: I’m guessing what’s effecting his performance is nerves. Anxiety, confusion, or over-anxiousness can all be contributing factors to the fact that he’s losing his erection. This DOES NOT mean that he’s not interested in your body, it DOES NOT mean that he doesn’t want to treat you like a goddess and deliver what you deserve. It simply means that he’s new to this and some level of his subconscious is trying to figure it all out.

As for him being in control of cumming. Good catch kiddo, you’ll have a champ in the sack when you guys work out the kinks. Men often have trouble disassociating the orgasm from ejaculation, but it sounds like your boy may know how to separate the two. This will ultimately mean more orgasms for him, as well as for you because he won’t require “downtime” post orgasm. As to why he hasn’t cum on you? Did I mention nerves? It’s possible that he’s embarrassed by the notion of cumming on a girl. If you want it though, tell him, and trust me — he’ll oblige. 

My number one recommendation here is: talk to him, let him know that it’s okay to take control of the situation and try to boost his sexual confidence. It will pay off for you both.

My husband and I have been together for 7 years (well, we've been married for one month, but obviously dated for a while before). We used to have sex that would last much longer than it's lasting now! It used to be that we could have sex for at least 45 minutes before he would need to orgasm...but now (and for the last several weeks) it's for 8, 10, 12 minutes at the most (...yes...I mentally make note)...
Honestly, when our sex would last 45 minutes to an hour, I'd sometimes just want it to be over after a certain point...but 12 minutes?!
How can I get him to last longer so I can reach an orgasm, too? Could there be something medically wrong? How can I approach this with him? Should I even bring it up to him?

Mathieu’s back for to tackle more of your sexual woes.

This is a tricky question, and I wish there were a simple answer. Realistically there are two solutions: have more sex and have patience. Truth be told men are just as complicated sexually and psychologically as women are; it just isn’t as well proliferated through the media. Your husband is likely experiencing impatience with sex because of other pressures in his life. Whether or not it is work, home, or life-expectation related, stress will have a profoundly drastic affect on an individual’s sex life. This includes repercussions on arousal, libido and, unfortunately, stamina. My suggestion remains; have more sex and do give your husband room for error. Also it may help to express that you are feeling a little less than satisfied when you two have relations, but this should be done at your discretion: optimally when you have sought to ease other pressures in his life. Best of luck.

im 21 female.
I lost my virginity to 17 yr old friend.
I was drunk really fucked up, and he took an advantage of me.
I didn't want that to happen, but it did.
I didn't know whether he cum it or not.
so i took the plan B the next day.
did i do right?


we don't have any feeling to each other but
when we get drunk we sorta get together.
what does this means?

Yes, you did right. I would also suggest getting an STD and HIV test since you don’t know if he wore a condom.

If you feel he’s taking advantage of you, then I would advise to stop getting drunk with him. Obviously it’s leading to trouble and making you upset.

Female, 19.
my boyfriend has never made me cum. ive faked for the whole 2 years weve been together. I can't cum from masturbation on my own either unless i watch porn, but vibrators work without porn.

telling him ive never cum is not an option, so please dont tell me to admit it. should i save up for a new vibe and introduce it to the bedroom? can i guide him towards new techniques without telling him what hes done so far never worked.

so worried :(

Yes, I think you should start incorporating toys during sex with your boyfriend. You’ve done your homework, and you know what makes you orgasm. You shouldn’t have to fake it with your boyfriend — you just have to show him. Considering how pleasurable vibrators can be, your boyfriend might be delighted to play with them too.

Don’t rule out watching porn during sex either. If your boyfriend cares about pleasing you, he’ll be more than delighted to try any which way he can (as long as he feel comfortable doing so).

Straight, Female

What is the best way to keep your vagina tight, where it you can tell it makes a difference.

Kegels. Do these exercises when you’re bored, sitting at a red light, during commercial breaks while you’re watching Dancing With the Stars, etc. Your partner will also enjoy them immensely. During sex, grab onto his penis with your kegel muscles and don’t let go. Your vagina will feel tighter around his dick, and he’ll thank you for it with a nice big orgasm.

What in the world is coming/cumming out of my vagina?
I squirt. I want to know what the hell it is, where it's coming from, and try to soothe my mind that I'm not peeing on my boyfriend when it happens.
I've done countless, 'reliable', Google searches, and all I'm getting is "No, no, if it smells like pee, it's pee. It's supposed to come out the vagina" or "It's not pee! It just comes from the urethra, so it may smell a bit like it". Buuuut I always go pee right after sex (UTI sufferer), so it cant be pee? I don't know, it just seems to be something mystical about the vagina that will never really be known, but hopefully you have some answers for me. Thanks!

(Dont know if its relevant, but 22/F/Straight...?)

Is the fluid coming out of your urethra or vaginal canal? If it’s coming from your urethra, you’re having the elusive g-spot orgasm. Embrace it and love it, for it is often coveted. It’s not pee and not discharge, but magical, so don’t worry about accidentally giving your partner a golden shower.

If it’s coming from your vaginal canal, then it’s most likely discharge. If your boyfriend is coming inside you without a condom, then it could also be a mixture of your boyfriend’s ejaculate and your vaginal discharge. And if it still concerns you, then I would suggest seeing your doctor.

Please keep peeing after sex too. It and drinking plenty of water are the best ways to prevent getting UTIs.

after me n my boyfriend have sex n he cums in me, like the next day i get this really gloopy clearish discharge. could that be because i'm on the pill or something else?

It’s probably his remaining ejaculate eventually trickling its way out of you. The pill is an unlikely culprit unless you get the discharge everyday you’re taking it and even when you’re not having sex.

If it bothers you, use a condom. Those lovely latex inventions keep the semen in one place until disposal. You also don’t have to wash your sheets as often because there’s less chance of them getting crusty from dried sperm. I’m all for delaying house chores.