In Barbara Walters’ amazing memoir Audition, she has a chapter entitled “The Hardest Chapter to Write”. Consider this “The Hardest Entry to Write”. While I’m not one to speak about my personal life on this blog, I’m going to make an exception for today. You’ve probably noticed I’ve been absent for awhile. Well, aside for laziness, there’s a reason for this, and one I hardly mention to others.

Perhaps I’ve been inspired by other celebrities coming forward like Catherine Zeta-Jones and Demi Lavato. Well, consider this my coming out party — I have bipolar II. It’s something I’ve struggled with since my teenage years along with depression, anxiety, and insomnia. I normally don’t talk about it, and I’m sure some of my “IRL” friends are finding out right now while reading this entry (I’m good at putting on a happy face). I realize I should be more open about my disorder (I hate that word) because the more people talk about these things, the lesser the stigma becomes.

I’ve usually got things under control with a cocktail of prescription drugs, occasional therapy, and checkups with a psychiatrist, but sometimes things don’t go my way, and this is one of those sometimes. My motivation is zip, my concentration is zero, my sleeping schedule is out of whack, and I’m majorly behind on my thesis which is due in April — hence the lack of posts. I’m truly sorry for those who send me questions that I ignore, news that goes unpublished, and attempts at humor being wasted and placed in my ever growing drafts folder of incomplete posts.

The good news is I’m starting to feel better now, and hopefully things will get back to normal soon. In the meantime, take the time to send a friend a cheerful e-card, call your grandparents, and smile and say hello to a random stranger. You never know how happy that can make someone feel.

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